Hipsterism

 A strange thing started happening to me last March-- I began being referred to as "hipster." Before that, people would often say things like "different," "inde," "weird, "defiant" or any other of the many words that could classify a person as something different from the general population. When I was originally confronted with this classification, I wasn't sure how to respond. My immediate thought: what does that even mean? 

So am I a hipster? 

The dictionary defines hipster as:

noun Slang .

1 .a person who is hip.

2. hepcat.

3. a person, especially during the 1950s, characterized by a particularly strong sense of alienation from most established social activities and relationships.
 

Since I didn't know what "hepcat" meant, I looked that up too:
 

noun Older Slang .

1. a performer or admirer of jazz, especially swing.

2. a person who is hep; hipster.

Well, I certainly love swing dancing, but I'm not sure if that's enough to label me a hipster.

  

According to the urban dictionary  "It is part of the hipster central dogma not to be influenced by mainstream advertising and media, which tends to only promote ethnocentric ideals of beauty" 

 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hipster&defid=2705928

As long as I can remember, this has been true of me. I was the middle school girl who refused to step inside a Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch because I hated the idea of over-priced clothes that looked the same as things you could buy at Aeropostale or American Eagle, but without the expensive logo. In fact, I disliked even going to either of those less expensive stores because they were still essentially the same product that Target and Walmart sold. So yes, I do have a particular distaste for the way that mainstream advertising and media get away with selling the same product for more, just by their logo.

Apparently, however, I wasn't alone all those years. All of these articles about hipsters make it seem like all these years there were ranks of upset teenagers secretly defying mainstream behavior just waiting to sprout into maturity and make a statement about style and values. Or maybe it was all a bit more subtle. Maybe some of us just didn't want to fall for the trap of expensive clothing, and decided to shop at thrift stores instead. Or maybe some of us don't think pink polos are cute.

But now, we see a new genre of these anti-mainstream people. Now people shop at Urban Outfitters, where they spend $200 on a pair of jeans, and $50 on a metro vest. Or they go to American Apparel to buy $30 v-necks (that are, by the way, outrageously soft), or Buffalo Exchange which is basically a really expensive second-hand store. It is like the second generation of the Hollister trap going on. Perhaps round two is even worse than the first. The entire basis of the "hipster" movement was based on defying "ethnocentric ideals of beauty" and not being "influenced by mainstream advertising and media." But now hipsters are paying lots of money for what new trends are saying is cool, which is what old trends said was ugly. Hipsterism is about anti-trends. But when anti-trends become trendy, what happens?

Well that's where we find ourselves with our fellow hipster friends. The entire population of hipsters deny that they are part of a trend. I contend that hipsters can be defined as a people that desire to hold to a "different" set of ideals in all areas such as fashion, music, food and even politics.

Therefore, I plead innocent of being a hipster. I hold to the ideals that I always have: I like what I like, and don't let stupid things influence that. I buy things from the thrift store because I know I can find what I want for less. I listen to music based on talent and sound, not based on what's popular. I eat the food I like and do the things I like. This used to be called "Inde" and it is now being mistaken for "Hipster" but I want to strictly identify the difference:


Hipsters follow anti-trends because they are against the norm. 
Inde people follow their own trend regardless of everyone else and their opinions.

I will admit to having hipster moments-- those prideful times when I make a decision based on what everyone else isn't doing. But I think we can all honestly admit to those.

So there you have it. I am Inde.

That being said, you can expect many posts regarding hipsters. I find hipsterism comical, and I can be humble enough to laugh at even the things that relate to me. 

Hipsterism: a prompt

Read me.

The Disgrace of Modern Children's Shows: Kid Edition

None of these are good.

Spongebob:

     Spongebob is annoying and disgusting. He's a sponge. He lives in a pineapple. He periodically removes his own limbs. He has a pet snail. What about this sounds good at all? There is no quality of lesson-learning. No good.

Adventure Time:

     I abhor this show. I've seen one episode. There was some little girl (in gender only, as far as species I haven't the foggiest idea) in a tent crying. Some guy with outrageously long legs flew in and started screaming at her. He said something to the effect of (and I kid you not), "You stole my purity!" After some fighting or arguing or something, which apparently the intruder won, he said "Now that I have my purity back I can return to the Virgin Islands!" What kind of kids show says stuff like that?

     Maybe I'm judging a book by its cover. Does anyone have anything positive to say about Adventure Time (other than the ten-year-old I nanny)?

Chowder:

      This is a television show about a kid that lives in a chef's kitchen with his uncle (I think it's his uncle but maybe not) the chef. I have 3 major complaints about this show:

1) The cooking always fails. Not just a little bit, mind you. No. The cooking fails as in explodes the entire building, blows the roof off of the kitchen, turns all the pets in the town to ash-- that kind of thing.

2) Someone is always critically damaged. Someone always looses oxygen, or implodes, or is electrocuted, or falls to an abyss. Something along the general lines of too-damaged-to-come-back-to-life happens in every episode. Then of course, two seconds later, everything is back to normal.

3) The scene transitions are pictures of random food rapidly filling up the screen in different animation than the rest of the show.

I rest my  case.

Tuctu

Assignment: pretend to be writing the teacher an excuse for your missing homework. 

"Oh no I lost my homewrok Christy. My dog Tuctu chrid to eet it but he cudn't fit it in his mouth. Then my dad put his coffy on it and mad a big mrch on it. I tuck it in my car to finish it. I roled down and it flow out the window I thride to chas it but a thornato cam and I gad to get back in the car." 

What can I say? I was a pretty creative kid. 

I distinctively remember literally "lol-ing"  after writing my second sentence. In retrospect, it's really sub-hilarious, but I was convinced that it was ridiculously clever to make fun of my own dog for his smallness. I obviously wasn't very good at story-telling yet. In fact, I think that after a few lines I realized that homework not being eaten by a dog and getting coffee spilled on it isn't enough of an excuse, so I resorted to a tornado. Somewhat of a jump in intensity, but hey, I was limited on time. 

This is, by the way, the same dog previously written about in "Taceta". I could never quite decide how to spell it, I guess.

Taceta

This is mostly a true story.

A few corrections are, however, required:

A) My dog's name is Takita [ta-KEE-ta].
B) He was bleeding outside his chin. There was no internal bleeding.
C) I was not hired. I was told. No payment was involved.
D) He was not thrown into an abyss, made into an abyss or anything of the like. He was, however, abused.
E) He has a scar on his stomach, not a bruise. He got frostbitten at the veterinarian's office. 


Translation (for those who still cannot read my gibberish):

Last Thursday my dog "Taceta" got hit by a car when I let him outside. I was screaming like crazy. He was bleeding inside of his chin, and some on his legs. Later that day I was hired to give him a lot of attention. He is five now. But I will never forget when I saw him get hit. I always thought he went through enough since he was abused. And he has a bruise on his stomach from when he went to the vet to get neutered. [Please read with high increase of emotion.] But that dog is strong. He will never give up, even if he is a Chihuahua. I should probably stop writing before I start crying or something. 


This has to be one of my favorite stories to read from my journal. The phrase "I was screming like curasy" is now common vernacular amidst my friends. You are welcome to pass it on. I also enjoy rehearsing "I shud probly stop riting befor I strt crying or sumthing" just because it's funny. "My dag Taceta" is a good one, too.

July

July is an interesting time of year for many reasons.

I pretty much equate July with pretty explosions because there's a firework show every weekend for the entire month, and usually more than one. This year I've made some observations about fireworks:

1) People will do anything to see them, including spending the entire day in blistering heat, or being in painfully (literally) close proximity to strangers, and sitting right next to outhouses.

2) That being said, fireworks are also a bonding experience. My family and I walked like a half mile back to our car from where we watched the fireworks in the dead of night with a huge mob of people. Everyone was talking to each other and laughing away.

3) The fireworks show is about having pretty fireworks that make people go "ooohhh" and "ahhhh".

4) The grand finale has nothing to do with seeing the fireworks and has everything to do with feeling the explosions. The game is about how loud you can be. They bring out the super lame looking ones that no one cares about just because if they fire off fifteen at a time, people will still feel like they are going to have a heart attack.

A brief guide to punctuation (revised).

As you may recall, I recently implored you all to learn to use proper punctuation. Since I feel so strongly about it, I have compiled a concise and (hopefully) helpful guide to assist you.

PERIOD:

A period (.) is used to indicate the ending of a sentence:

A period is used to indicate the ending of a sentence. 

^That sentence ended.

A period is not used to indicate emphasis:

I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U.S.O.M.U.C.H!!!!!!!!!


This is not acceptable. This should have ended with the age of MySpace.

A period can also be used to indicate an abbreviation:

A period is used to indicate the ending of a sentence, abbreviations, etc., in order to clarify thought and communication.

COMMA:

 A comma (,) is used to separate clauses. For those that are less informed in the realm of grammar, a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking. For instance, take this sentence:

For those that are less informed in the realm of grammar, a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking.

There are two clauses in the above sentence, one before the comma and one after it. The one after the comma is the independent clause because it can stand alone. I could have simply said "a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking" and it would have made sense. The clause before the comma is a dependent clause because without the second clause, it makes no sense at all. In other words, it cannot stand alone.

EXCLAMATION MARK:

An exclamation mark (!) is used to indicate that something is being exclaimed. This is its only purpose. There is no other reason to ever use an exclamation mark. Ever.

QUOTATION MARKS:

Quotation marks (") signify when something is being quoted. For some odd reason entirely beyond my comprehension, this is extremely confusing to many people. So many, in fact, that there is a whole blog about it. To clear up the confusion as best I can I will offer an example:

"Dinner's ready!" Mom yelled up the stairs.

The quotations marks surround dinner's ready because those are the only words being spoken, rather than narrated. If that isn't comprehensible, I can't help you. I do, however, think that quotation marks are confusing to people because people have taken to using them in conversation by signalling with their fingers. This is sometimes also used to indicate sarcasm, which can probably account for a good majority of the misinterpretation.

It is, however, perfectly acceptable to indicate sarcasm with quotation marks because they are still indicating that someone said something. As a fictional example, we can pretend that my friend John has just told me that he is busy tonight, when in fact I know that he is not. When venting to a friend I might say:

John's "busy" tonight, so he can't hang out. 

The use of those quotation marks helps my friend understand that John says he's busy but that I don't believe him, only in less words.

Remember, quotation marks are not used to emphasize a word. That's why we underline things.  

ELLIPSIS:

An ellipsis (...) is used to tell the reader that there is something that is not being said. This particular form of punctuation has been terribly abused. I have texting conversations regularly that look something like this:

Me: Hey! How are you?

Friend: I'm good... You?

Me: Oh, what's wrong?

Friend: Nothing... I said good...

See what just happened there? They mistook an ellipsis for a period, and thus made me think the exact opposite of everything they were saying.

COLON:

A colon (:) is used, in a general sense, to indicate that some sort of specification is coming up.

For example, it can be used to signify the presence of a list:

I went on a picnic and brought many things: jelly beans, pizza crust, pickled ham and onions. 

It can also be used to signal the start of a description:

I went on a beautiful picnic: the sun was shining and the trees still had morning dew gripping to their leaves.

I personally dislike that usage in most cases, though.

You get the general idea, eh?

SEMICOLON:

A semicolon (;) may be my favorite form of punctuation. This is most likely due to its ambiguity, making it hard to portray to you its proper usage.

A semicolon is used as a conjunction, just like the words "and" or "but". Without the use of a semicolon a sentence may look like this:

A semicolon may be my favorite form of punctuation and its ambiguity interests me.

Look at how much better our sentence reads if we use the semicolon as a conjunction:

A semicolon may be my favorite form of punctuation; its ambiguity interests me. 

As you can see, I had so many options with that sentence. I could have made it into two separate sentences. The problem I see with that in this particular case is that the two clauses are too closely relation to be divided with a period. Semicolons allow for stylistic writing, rather than writing "and" and "but" and "yet" all the time to conjoin clauses. I'm sure you're getting a taste for the ambiguity.


PARENTHESES:

Parentheses (()) are fun because they work in pairs.Their job is to close in optional information, excluding it from the rest of the sentence. The key to correctly using parentheses is making sure that your sentence can be read without the text in parentheses and still make sense:

That's a really good picture of Alexandria (even though she looks fat). 

I very well could have (and maybe should have) left out the part in the parentheses and the sentence would have operated perfectly well.

EM-DASH:

An em-dash (--) is similar to a dash (-) only longer, in appearance. Unfortunately, there is no key for an em-dash so I simply put two dashes next to each other. I will refrain from explaining the other forms that dashes can take simply because they are confusing and long and weird. But an em-dash is a very lovely piece of punctuation that should be brought to light.

Its function is extremely similar to the parentheses. In fact, most sentences that have parentheses can be re-written with em-dashes. Take this parenthetical sentence:

I gave Amy the necklaces (the blue and silver ones) to keep until I return. 

That sentence could employ em-dashes:

I gave Amy the necklaces-- the blue and silver ones-- to keep until I return. 

So what's the difference between those two sentences? Decidedly, the difference is strength. It is a much stronger break in thought to use em-dashes.

Another fun fact about em-dashes is that, unlike parentheses, they don't have to work in pairs. I could say:

I gave Amy necklaces to keep until I return-- the blue and silver ones. 


The uses of all of the above symbols are not limited to my examples, so feel free to explore their other uses.

Writing is a beautiful thing because it is versatile. Enjoy it.