July is an interesting time of year for many reasons.
I pretty much equate July with pretty explosions because there's a firework show every weekend for the entire month, and usually more than one. This year I've made some observations about fireworks:
1) People will do anything to see them, including spending the entire day in blistering heat, or being in painfully (literally) close proximity to strangers, and sitting right next to outhouses.
2) That being said, fireworks are also a bonding experience. My family and I walked like a half mile back to our car from where we watched the fireworks in the dead of night with a huge mob of people. Everyone was talking to each other and laughing away.
3) The fireworks show is about having pretty fireworks that make people go "ooohhh" and "ahhhh".
4) The grand finale has nothing to do with seeing the fireworks and has everything to do with feeling the explosions. The game is about how loud you can be. They bring out the super lame looking ones that no one cares about just because if they fire off fifteen at a time, people will still feel like they are going to have a heart attack.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
A brief guide to punctuation (revised).
As you may recall, I recently implored you all to learn to use proper punctuation. Since I feel so strongly about it, I have compiled a concise and (hopefully) helpful guide to assist you.
PERIOD:
A period (.) is used to indicate the ending of a sentence:
A period is used to indicate the ending of a sentence.
^That sentence ended.
A period is not used to indicate emphasis:
I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U.S.O.M.U.C.H!!!!!!!!!
This is not acceptable. This should have ended with the age of MySpace.
A period can also be used to indicate an abbreviation:
A period is used to indicate the ending of a sentence, abbreviations, etc., in order to clarify thought and communication.
COMMA:
A comma (,) is used to separate clauses. For those that are less informed in the realm of grammar, a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking. For instance, take this sentence:
For those that are less informed in the realm of grammar, a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking.
There are two clauses in the above sentence, one before the comma and one after it. The one after the comma is the independent clause because it can stand alone. I could have simply said "a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking" and it would have made sense. The clause before the comma is a dependent clause because without the second clause, it makes no sense at all. In other words, it cannot stand alone.
EXCLAMATION MARK:
An exclamation mark (!) is used to indicate that something is being exclaimed. This is its only purpose. There is no other reason to ever use an exclamation mark. Ever.
QUOTATION MARKS:
Quotation marks (") signify when something is being quoted. For some odd reason entirely beyond my comprehension, this is extremely confusing to many people. So many, in fact, that there is a whole blog about it. To clear up the confusion as best I can I will offer an example:
"Dinner's ready!" Mom yelled up the stairs.
The quotations marks surround dinner's ready because those are the only words being spoken, rather than narrated. If that isn't comprehensible, I can't help you. I do, however, think that quotation marks are confusing to people because people have taken to using them in conversation by signalling with their fingers. This is sometimes also used to indicate sarcasm, which can probably account for a good majority of the misinterpretation.
It is, however, perfectly acceptable to indicate sarcasm with quotation marks because they are still indicating that someone said something. As a fictional example, we can pretend that my friend John has just told me that he is busy tonight, when in fact I know that he is not. When venting to a friend I might say:
John's "busy" tonight, so he can't hang out.
The use of those quotation marks helps my friend understand that John says he's busy but that I don't believe him, only in less words.
Remember, quotation marks are not used to emphasize a word. That's why we underline things.
ELLIPSIS:
An ellipsis (...) is used to tell the reader that there is something that is not being said. This particular form of punctuation has been terribly abused. I have texting conversations regularly that look something like this:
Me: Hey! How are you?
Friend: I'm good... You?
Me: Oh, what's wrong?
Friend: Nothing... I said good...
See what just happened there? They mistook an ellipsis for a period, and thus made me think the exact opposite of everything they were saying.
COLON:
A colon (:) is used, in a general sense, to indicate that some sort of specification is coming up.
For example, it can be used to signify the presence of a list:
I went on a picnic and brought many things: jelly beans, pizza crust, pickled ham and onions.
It can also be used to signal the start of a description:
I went on a beautiful picnic: the sun was shining and the trees still had morning dew gripping to their leaves.
I personally dislike that usage in most cases, though.
You get the general idea, eh?
SEMICOLON:
A semicolon (;) may be my favorite form of punctuation. This is most likely due to its ambiguity, making it hard to portray to you its proper usage.
A semicolon is used as a conjunction, just like the words "and" or "but". Without the use of a semicolon a sentence may look like this:
A semicolon may be my favorite form of punctuation and its ambiguity interests me.
Look at how much better our sentence reads if we use the semicolon as a conjunction:
A semicolon may be my favorite form of punctuation; its ambiguity interests me.
As you can see, I had so many options with that sentence. I could have made it into two separate sentences. The problem I see with that in this particular case is that the two clauses are too closely relation to be divided with a period. Semicolons allow for stylistic writing, rather than writing "and" and "but" and "yet" all the time to conjoin clauses. I'm sure you're getting a taste for the ambiguity.
PARENTHESES:
Parentheses (()) are fun because they work in pairs.Their job is to close in optional information, excluding it from the rest of the sentence. The key to correctly using parentheses is making sure that your sentence can be read without the text in parentheses and still make sense:
That's a really good picture of Alexandria (even though she looks fat).
I very well could have (and maybe should have) left out the part in the parentheses and the sentence would have operated perfectly well.
EM-DASH:
An em-dash (--) is similar to a dash (-) only longer, in appearance. Unfortunately, there is no key for an em-dash so I simply put two dashes next to each other. I will refrain from explaining the other forms that dashes can take simply because they are confusing and long and weird. But an em-dash is a very lovely piece of punctuation that should be brought to light.
Its function is extremely similar to the parentheses. In fact, most sentences that have parentheses can be re-written with em-dashes. Take this parenthetical sentence:
I gave Amy the necklaces (the blue and silver ones) to keep until I return.
That sentence could employ em-dashes:
I gave Amy the necklaces-- the blue and silver ones-- to keep until I return.
So what's the difference between those two sentences? Decidedly, the difference is strength. It is a much stronger break in thought to use em-dashes.
Another fun fact about em-dashes is that, unlike parentheses, they don't have to work in pairs. I could say:
I gave Amy necklaces to keep until I return-- the blue and silver ones.
The uses of all of the above symbols are not limited to my examples, so feel free to explore their other uses.
Writing is a beautiful thing because it is versatile. Enjoy it.
PERIOD:
A period (.) is used to indicate the ending of a sentence:
A period is used to indicate the ending of a sentence.
^That sentence ended.
A period is not used to indicate emphasis:
This is not acceptable. This should have ended with the age of MySpace.
A period can also be used to indicate an abbreviation:
A period is used to indicate the ending of a sentence, abbreviations, etc., in order to clarify thought and communication.
COMMA:
A comma (,) is used to separate clauses. For those that are less informed in the realm of grammar, a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking. For instance, take this sentence:
For those that are less informed in the realm of grammar, a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking.
There are two clauses in the above sentence, one before the comma and one after it. The one after the comma is the independent clause because it can stand alone. I could have simply said "a comma can be used to indicate a new direction a sentence is taking" and it would have made sense. The clause before the comma is a dependent clause because without the second clause, it makes no sense at all. In other words, it cannot stand alone.
EXCLAMATION MARK:
An exclamation mark (!) is used to indicate that something is being exclaimed. This is its only purpose. There is no other reason to ever use an exclamation mark. Ever.
QUOTATION MARKS:
Quotation marks (") signify when something is being quoted. For some odd reason entirely beyond my comprehension, this is extremely confusing to many people. So many, in fact, that there is a whole blog about it. To clear up the confusion as best I can I will offer an example:
"Dinner's ready!" Mom yelled up the stairs.
The quotations marks surround dinner's ready because those are the only words being spoken, rather than narrated. If that isn't comprehensible, I can't help you. I do, however, think that quotation marks are confusing to people because people have taken to using them in conversation by signalling with their fingers. This is sometimes also used to indicate sarcasm, which can probably account for a good majority of the misinterpretation.
It is, however, perfectly acceptable to indicate sarcasm with quotation marks because they are still indicating that someone said something. As a fictional example, we can pretend that my friend John has just told me that he is busy tonight, when in fact I know that he is not. When venting to a friend I might say:
John's "busy" tonight, so he can't hang out.
The use of those quotation marks helps my friend understand that John says he's busy but that I don't believe him, only in less words.
Remember, quotation marks are not used to emphasize a word. That's why we underline things.
ELLIPSIS:
An ellipsis (...) is used to tell the reader that there is something that is not being said. This particular form of punctuation has been terribly abused. I have texting conversations regularly that look something like this:
Me: Hey! How are you?
Friend: I'm good... You?
Me: Oh, what's wrong?
Friend: Nothing... I said good...
See what just happened there? They mistook an ellipsis for a period, and thus made me think the exact opposite of everything they were saying.
COLON:
A colon (:) is used, in a general sense, to indicate that some sort of specification is coming up.
For example, it can be used to signify the presence of a list:
I went on a picnic and brought many things: jelly beans, pizza crust, pickled ham and onions.
It can also be used to signal the start of a description:
I went on a beautiful picnic: the sun was shining and the trees still had morning dew gripping to their leaves.
I personally dislike that usage in most cases, though.
You get the general idea, eh?
SEMICOLON:
A semicolon (;) may be my favorite form of punctuation. This is most likely due to its ambiguity, making it hard to portray to you its proper usage.
A semicolon is used as a conjunction, just like the words "and" or "but". Without the use of a semicolon a sentence may look like this:
A semicolon may be my favorite form of punctuation and its ambiguity interests me.
Look at how much better our sentence reads if we use the semicolon as a conjunction:
A semicolon may be my favorite form of punctuation; its ambiguity interests me.
As you can see, I had so many options with that sentence. I could have made it into two separate sentences. The problem I see with that in this particular case is that the two clauses are too closely relation to be divided with a period. Semicolons allow for stylistic writing, rather than writing "and" and "but" and "yet" all the time to conjoin clauses. I'm sure you're getting a taste for the ambiguity.
PARENTHESES:
Parentheses (()) are fun because they work in pairs.Their job is to close in optional information, excluding it from the rest of the sentence. The key to correctly using parentheses is making sure that your sentence can be read without the text in parentheses and still make sense:
That's a really good picture of Alexandria (even though she looks fat).
I very well could have (and maybe should have) left out the part in the parentheses and the sentence would have operated perfectly well.
EM-DASH:
An em-dash (--) is similar to a dash (-) only longer, in appearance. Unfortunately, there is no key for an em-dash so I simply put two dashes next to each other. I will refrain from explaining the other forms that dashes can take simply because they are confusing and long and weird. But an em-dash is a very lovely piece of punctuation that should be brought to light.
Its function is extremely similar to the parentheses. In fact, most sentences that have parentheses can be re-written with em-dashes. Take this parenthetical sentence:
I gave Amy the necklaces (the blue and silver ones) to keep until I return.
That sentence could employ em-dashes:
I gave Amy the necklaces-- the blue and silver ones-- to keep until I return.
So what's the difference between those two sentences? Decidedly, the difference is strength. It is a much stronger break in thought to use em-dashes.
Another fun fact about em-dashes is that, unlike parentheses, they don't have to work in pairs. I could say:
I gave Amy necklaces to keep until I return-- the blue and silver ones.
The uses of all of the above symbols are not limited to my examples, so feel free to explore their other uses.
Writing is a beautiful thing because it is versatile. Enjoy it.
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